Here is how to contact me if you have nay questions, comments, or suggestions on topics for new posts.
Email: IllegalExpertGirl101@gmail.com
You can also leave a comment on any of my posts and I will see it within a few days. I will respond to anyone who messages me, and I can post your questions anonymously if you want.
IllegalExpertGirl
Monday, May 15, 2017
Planning For A Shoplifting Haul
Here are some tips on how to plan out a successful shoplifting haul. I will include some examples of personal experiences so you know some of the possibilities of what could happen and what you can do to be successful.
1. Gaining confidence.
It takes a lot of confidence just to start planning a shoplifting haul. So before you even come up with a plan, you need to make sure you have completely thought out what you are about to do. Here is a list of some of the questions you need to ask yourself before you begin planning:
- What are the positives that could come from shoplifting? Negatives? (P-adrenaline rush, free stuff, get whatever you want) (N-arrest, fines, criminal record)
- Why are you considering shoplifting? (Financial reasons, just for fun)
- What exactly do you want/need so bad that you would shoplift in order to have it? (Food, makeup, clothing, drugs)
-Are the items you want worth the potential consequences?
- Are you willing to accept whatever outcome you face? (Getting away with it or getting caught)
I actually made a pro/con list for shoplifting before I did my first haul. I listed all of the potential outcomes, a few being getting away with it, getting caught and let go, and getting caught and charged.
2. Developing your plan.
At this step, you will begin planning for your haul. Remember that all planning MUST be done in your head, not on paper or on your phone or whatever. There can't be any evidence; with that being said, it would be better to develop your plan on paper and destroy it afterwards than to try to permanently delete it from your phone or computer. But if you live at home with your parents or whatever, don't write down your plan at all (unless they don't give a shit what you do or you are just really good at hiding stuff) because I can guarantee that the one time you leave the paper out will be the one time someone snoops through your room and finds it. Here is what you need to have figured out in your plan:
- Items you plan to steal and where they are located in the store
- Other people involved (whether they will be shoplifting or not) ie. parents/whoever is taking you to the store, fellow shoplifters, etc
- Supplies you will need to bring on the haul (scissors for removing packaging, bag/purse, paper clip/bobby pin for removing security devices, money, etc)
My first experience shoplifting was because I wanted a specific tube of mascara. It wasn't a particularly high-end brand, but it was still 5 times more than what I usually spent on makeup. I kept an eye on the mascara for almost 2 months before I finally decided to commit and steal it. I made sure I completely thought through how I would conceal the item without being noticed, and I got away with stealing not only the tube of mascara, but also a couple eyeliners, a few little bottles of fancy lotion, and a bottle of diet pills.
3. Preparing for the haul.
Once you have developed a plan and are sure you want to follow through, you will need to gather any supplies you'll need and coordinate an outfit that will benefit you with your concealing without giving away the fact that you are shoplifting. Compile all of your supplies and put them in your purse or have them together by your outfit so you can put everything in your pockets before you leave. Your outfit should be unnoticeable, and have plenty of hiding places for merchandise. Inner pockets are a must-have.
Supplies needed:
-Scissors/nail clippers (for opening packaging)
- Purse/bag (for holding items and supplies)
- Water/drink bottle that isn't see through (to conceal smaller items)
-Money
-Your phone
-Pretend shopping list
4. Executing the haul.
When you are fully prepared and have all of your supplies packed and ready, you can now go on the haul. Whether this is your first haul or your hundredth haul, it's always necessary to be completely prepared both mentally and physically. Don't half-ass this shit, that's how you can screw yourself over in a heartbeat. At this point, you will go to the store and shoplift the items you want. Tips for doing so can be found in my previous posts.
5. Reviewing you haul.
After shoplifting, going over your haul is a good habit to get into. Even if you didn't get caught, it is still good to look back and find what you can improve and what you did well. If there was a moment where you almost got caught, look at what you did preceding that time. Did you forget to look around? Were you careless in your concealment? Did someone start to get suspicious? You should mentally review your entire haul, from the time you entered the store to the time you left. If this is your first haul, doing the mental review should help distract you from your paranoia. After I did my first haul, I sat in my bedroom peeking out the window for days because I was convinced that the cops would pull in any minute, and I jumped at every knock at the door, and every time my parents answered the phone, I was sure that it was the cops on the other end of the line telling them that they were coming to arrest me for shoplifting. Realistically, none of these things would have happened; the police will rarely come to your house if you have already left the store property with the items, especially since I had stolen so little. But in a way, the paranoid feeling will help you to watch yourself and stay cautious when you go on future hauls. If you have been shoplifting for a while, this feeling can wear off, but at that point you will probably be a good enough shoplifter that you won't need the worry to make you cautious with your shoplifting. Just follow your gut feeling; if something seems wrong, then something is wrong. If everything seems ok, still be aware of what could go wrong.
IllegalExpertGirl
1. Gaining confidence.
It takes a lot of confidence just to start planning a shoplifting haul. So before you even come up with a plan, you need to make sure you have completely thought out what you are about to do. Here is a list of some of the questions you need to ask yourself before you begin planning:
- What are the positives that could come from shoplifting? Negatives? (P-adrenaline rush, free stuff, get whatever you want) (N-arrest, fines, criminal record)
- Why are you considering shoplifting? (Financial reasons, just for fun)
- What exactly do you want/need so bad that you would shoplift in order to have it? (Food, makeup, clothing, drugs)
-Are the items you want worth the potential consequences?
- Are you willing to accept whatever outcome you face? (Getting away with it or getting caught)
I actually made a pro/con list for shoplifting before I did my first haul. I listed all of the potential outcomes, a few being getting away with it, getting caught and let go, and getting caught and charged.
2. Developing your plan.
At this step, you will begin planning for your haul. Remember that all planning MUST be done in your head, not on paper or on your phone or whatever. There can't be any evidence; with that being said, it would be better to develop your plan on paper and destroy it afterwards than to try to permanently delete it from your phone or computer. But if you live at home with your parents or whatever, don't write down your plan at all (unless they don't give a shit what you do or you are just really good at hiding stuff) because I can guarantee that the one time you leave the paper out will be the one time someone snoops through your room and finds it. Here is what you need to have figured out in your plan:
- Items you plan to steal and where they are located in the store
- Other people involved (whether they will be shoplifting or not) ie. parents/whoever is taking you to the store, fellow shoplifters, etc
- Supplies you will need to bring on the haul (scissors for removing packaging, bag/purse, paper clip/bobby pin for removing security devices, money, etc)
My first experience shoplifting was because I wanted a specific tube of mascara. It wasn't a particularly high-end brand, but it was still 5 times more than what I usually spent on makeup. I kept an eye on the mascara for almost 2 months before I finally decided to commit and steal it. I made sure I completely thought through how I would conceal the item without being noticed, and I got away with stealing not only the tube of mascara, but also a couple eyeliners, a few little bottles of fancy lotion, and a bottle of diet pills.
3. Preparing for the haul.
Once you have developed a plan and are sure you want to follow through, you will need to gather any supplies you'll need and coordinate an outfit that will benefit you with your concealing without giving away the fact that you are shoplifting. Compile all of your supplies and put them in your purse or have them together by your outfit so you can put everything in your pockets before you leave. Your outfit should be unnoticeable, and have plenty of hiding places for merchandise. Inner pockets are a must-have.
Supplies needed:
-Scissors/nail clippers (for opening packaging)
- Purse/bag (for holding items and supplies)
- Water/drink bottle that isn't see through (to conceal smaller items)
-Money
-Your phone
-Pretend shopping list
4. Executing the haul.
When you are fully prepared and have all of your supplies packed and ready, you can now go on the haul. Whether this is your first haul or your hundredth haul, it's always necessary to be completely prepared both mentally and physically. Don't half-ass this shit, that's how you can screw yourself over in a heartbeat. At this point, you will go to the store and shoplift the items you want. Tips for doing so can be found in my previous posts.
5. Reviewing you haul.
After shoplifting, going over your haul is a good habit to get into. Even if you didn't get caught, it is still good to look back and find what you can improve and what you did well. If there was a moment where you almost got caught, look at what you did preceding that time. Did you forget to look around? Were you careless in your concealment? Did someone start to get suspicious? You should mentally review your entire haul, from the time you entered the store to the time you left. If this is your first haul, doing the mental review should help distract you from your paranoia. After I did my first haul, I sat in my bedroom peeking out the window for days because I was convinced that the cops would pull in any minute, and I jumped at every knock at the door, and every time my parents answered the phone, I was sure that it was the cops on the other end of the line telling them that they were coming to arrest me for shoplifting. Realistically, none of these things would have happened; the police will rarely come to your house if you have already left the store property with the items, especially since I had stolen so little. But in a way, the paranoid feeling will help you to watch yourself and stay cautious when you go on future hauls. If you have been shoplifting for a while, this feeling can wear off, but at that point you will probably be a good enough shoplifter that you won't need the worry to make you cautious with your shoplifting. Just follow your gut feeling; if something seems wrong, then something is wrong. If everything seems ok, still be aware of what could go wrong.
IllegalExpertGirl
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
My Experience: Getting Caught and Charged
(The censored parts of the story are there to protect the identities of myself and the other people involved!)
MY STORY:
A while ago, I had gone to the store with the person who I had been shoplifting with for a while. We would both be lookouts for each other and help distract employees and other shoppers from where the other was concealing merchandise. It had been working out pretty well for both of us, until the day that the person (who will be referred to from here on out as Steve) got caught because they were being too cocky and decided to try to blame me for the entire crime.
We went to *store* one day, after hitting several other stores in the area. We had planned that this would be the last hit of the day since it was getting late and the car was already pretty much full of other stolen merchandise. So we walked into the store together and both went and did our own thing. I walked around and didn't see anything that I particularly wanted, so I just kinda hung out and looked at random stuff until everyone was ready to leave. Steve, however, filled the cart with several hundred dollars worth of *merchandise* and started the walk around the store to find some good places to conceal everything in the flat empty bag that was in the child seat of the cart. I knew that one of the employees (the store manager to be exact) was following Steve around, and I told Steve to just put everything back because they were being followed. Steve decided that they were too good to get caught, so they walked to another aisle across the store and started peeling security tags off of things and stuffing them into the bag as fast as possible without checking around for anything that would get them caught, cameras, other people, mirrors, etc. All of the security tags got shoved in one area of a nearby shelf, and were picked up by the store manager as evidence. The manager knew exactly where to look, because they had been watching from the other side of the aisle through a mirror. I hadn't seen where Steve went to conceal everything, so I was just walking around when I happened to go into the same aisle as them. This helped Steve's story that I was part of the theft, because we were seen together multiple times. So after Steve got done filling the bag, they immediately started for the exit without trying to look nonchalant or check for anyone who was following. Right before Steve got to the door, they stopped and tried to get me to walk out with them. I refused to do it because I knew they were gonna get caught, so I told Steve that this was their last chance to put everything back or get in trouble and I walked out on my own without getting stopped and went to wait in the car until we could leave. About a minute later, Steve's mom walks out and Steve followed, setting off the alarm at the door and getting physically pulled back into the store. When Steve and their mom got to the back room of the store, they decided that they would try to pin the blame on me so that Steve wouldn't get kicked out of *extracurricular school activity* and so they could avoid having a criminal record. After Steve and their mom got done blaming me, I was told to come back into the store and I did so willingly because I knew better than to try to escape and end up with worse charges than I was already gonna be stuck with. When I got to the back, a cop was already there and the merchandise had already been totaled up to the price of almost 500 dollars worth of *specific items*. If the blame had all been on one person, this would have been a felony shoplifting charge. But since I was dragged into the whole mess, it was split down the middle and we both got misdemeanor charges and the cost of reimbursing the store for the items was split down the middle. We both got a year of probation (which wouldn't increase as long as we both stayed out of trouble and did what the court ordered we do), having to keep our grades up in school, about 200 dollars each in reimbursement costs, about 200 in court fees, 30 hours of community service, and we both had to get fingerprinted at the police station. Steve and I are both under 18, so the charges will go away once we are legally adults. Steve has been attracting a lot of attention because they are skipping school and trying to act like probation is all fun and games. Steve thinks that just because they have the fine paid off that they are untouchable. But probation has been a lot harder on Steve with grades and community service since they are being an ass. Probation has pretty much left me alone except for biweekly appointments and the occasional house check. I haven't paid any of my fine or done any community service and my grades are for the most part barely passing, but since I'm not causing trouble they aren't really pushing the issue. We are about halfway through the probation sentence, and as long as the community service and fines are paid by the end, there won't be any further charges or punishment. I should be off probation just before I turn 18, so I won't have to worry about the charges following me my whole life. Steve, on the other hand, has been acting like a little trailer trash gutter punk, so they will be on probation a whooooolllle lot longer for bad behavior. Sounds to me like Karma is coming back to bite Steve in the ass.
Anyways, that is the story of how I got "caught" shoplifting. Hopefully you all can learn from my experience, and the most important take away from this incident in my opinion is to TRUST NO ONE!
IllegalExpertGirl
MY STORY:
A while ago, I had gone to the store with the person who I had been shoplifting with for a while. We would both be lookouts for each other and help distract employees and other shoppers from where the other was concealing merchandise. It had been working out pretty well for both of us, until the day that the person (who will be referred to from here on out as Steve) got caught because they were being too cocky and decided to try to blame me for the entire crime.
We went to *store* one day, after hitting several other stores in the area. We had planned that this would be the last hit of the day since it was getting late and the car was already pretty much full of other stolen merchandise. So we walked into the store together and both went and did our own thing. I walked around and didn't see anything that I particularly wanted, so I just kinda hung out and looked at random stuff until everyone was ready to leave. Steve, however, filled the cart with several hundred dollars worth of *merchandise* and started the walk around the store to find some good places to conceal everything in the flat empty bag that was in the child seat of the cart. I knew that one of the employees (the store manager to be exact) was following Steve around, and I told Steve to just put everything back because they were being followed. Steve decided that they were too good to get caught, so they walked to another aisle across the store and started peeling security tags off of things and stuffing them into the bag as fast as possible without checking around for anything that would get them caught, cameras, other people, mirrors, etc. All of the security tags got shoved in one area of a nearby shelf, and were picked up by the store manager as evidence. The manager knew exactly where to look, because they had been watching from the other side of the aisle through a mirror. I hadn't seen where Steve went to conceal everything, so I was just walking around when I happened to go into the same aisle as them. This helped Steve's story that I was part of the theft, because we were seen together multiple times. So after Steve got done filling the bag, they immediately started for the exit without trying to look nonchalant or check for anyone who was following. Right before Steve got to the door, they stopped and tried to get me to walk out with them. I refused to do it because I knew they were gonna get caught, so I told Steve that this was their last chance to put everything back or get in trouble and I walked out on my own without getting stopped and went to wait in the car until we could leave. About a minute later, Steve's mom walks out and Steve followed, setting off the alarm at the door and getting physically pulled back into the store. When Steve and their mom got to the back room of the store, they decided that they would try to pin the blame on me so that Steve wouldn't get kicked out of *extracurricular school activity* and so they could avoid having a criminal record. After Steve and their mom got done blaming me, I was told to come back into the store and I did so willingly because I knew better than to try to escape and end up with worse charges than I was already gonna be stuck with. When I got to the back, a cop was already there and the merchandise had already been totaled up to the price of almost 500 dollars worth of *specific items*. If the blame had all been on one person, this would have been a felony shoplifting charge. But since I was dragged into the whole mess, it was split down the middle and we both got misdemeanor charges and the cost of reimbursing the store for the items was split down the middle. We both got a year of probation (which wouldn't increase as long as we both stayed out of trouble and did what the court ordered we do), having to keep our grades up in school, about 200 dollars each in reimbursement costs, about 200 in court fees, 30 hours of community service, and we both had to get fingerprinted at the police station. Steve and I are both under 18, so the charges will go away once we are legally adults. Steve has been attracting a lot of attention because they are skipping school and trying to act like probation is all fun and games. Steve thinks that just because they have the fine paid off that they are untouchable. But probation has been a lot harder on Steve with grades and community service since they are being an ass. Probation has pretty much left me alone except for biweekly appointments and the occasional house check. I haven't paid any of my fine or done any community service and my grades are for the most part barely passing, but since I'm not causing trouble they aren't really pushing the issue. We are about halfway through the probation sentence, and as long as the community service and fines are paid by the end, there won't be any further charges or punishment. I should be off probation just before I turn 18, so I won't have to worry about the charges following me my whole life. Steve, on the other hand, has been acting like a little trailer trash gutter punk, so they will be on probation a whooooolllle lot longer for bad behavior. Sounds to me like Karma is coming back to bite Steve in the ass.
Anyways, that is the story of how I got "caught" shoplifting. Hopefully you all can learn from my experience, and the most important take away from this incident in my opinion is to TRUST NO ONE!
IllegalExpertGirl
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Hiding Your Secret Habits
While it's relatively easy to hide your shoplifting from the outside world, your friends and family will notice if you start dressing in designer clothes and eating all name brand organic foods while you work at mcd0n@ld$ and spend almost your entire pay check on rent. You need to make sure you can keep up your presentation while you hide the fact that you are living on stolen goods. Here is a lost of some ways you can do so.
1. Volunteer.
No one is going to think that precious little Susie who volunteers at the senior center is a shoplifter. And darling little Steven who helps out at the preschool could never be the one stealing. Go around your town and help where you can. The elementary school is having a volunteer egg hunt for Easter? Steal a couple bags of candy and help fill the eggs for the kids. Food pantry needs over the counter medicine to distribute? Steal a purse full of aspirin and cough drops and donate them. Make sure everyone knows what a great person you are.
2. Don't be super obvious that you have a lot of new stuff.
A couple close friends or relatives might notice your new vase or a new pair of shoes, but EVERYONE will notice if you're entire house is redecorated in high-end shit every other week. Instead of displaying large amounts of the stolen goods that will look out of place (for example, expensive silk bedding on a thrift store mattress, name brand high-end personal hygiene products in a shitty looking bathroom, real leather wallet in a pr@d@ purse holding your food stamp card, etc), display an item or two once in a while and make a big deal about your "splurge." Talk about how much it cost and how long you had to save up to be able to afford it, etc. Act like you just wanted something nice to gift to yourself. Just don't get carried away or else people will step in to try to "help with your spending problem." Only show off one or two "treats" you got yourself every couple weeks or so. This way it will look like a fun little "splurge" and not a "shopping addiction."
3. Don't steal all name brand expensive stuff.
Almost everyone has some nice things, whether the things be a certain food that they only eat if it's name brand, or if they only wear n!ke'$ and would faint at the thought of wearing w@lm@rt shoes. Whatever it is that you specifically want to be the higher-end brand, just make sure you keep up appearances. If you live in a piece of shit trailer in the scummy part of town, then don't have your whole place decorated in leather and gold plating. It's better to get nice clothes and shoes so when you go out of town no one will suspect you as someone who steals, because nice clothes and shoes means you (probably) have money. Get name brand foods and mix them in with the normal, everyday "poor people" foods. You know the foods I mean; doll@r $t0re brand cereal, w@lm@rt brand milk, whatever. If you want, keep the empty packaging from the cheap shit and just refill it with the name brand stuff. Pour the pep$i into a d0ll@r store brand cola bottle, put the bag of fr00t l00p$ in the w@lm@rt brand "fruity wheels" box, etc. This way if anyone looks in your cabinets for a snack, they will assume you can only afford the shitty poor person food. And you probably only need to buy (or steal) the poor people shit once, just keep reusing the packaging as long as it hasn't been years and the product has a "new look" in the stores. Check once in a while to make sure your packaging is still convincing.
4. Appear as if you are making enough money to afford the things you steal.
Tell people that you took a second job out of town and now you're bringing in insane amounts of money every week. Talk about how great the pay is, but describe it as a really shitty job that is too hard. This way, no one will try to "get a job working with you" but they'll still think that you have a good income. Just be careful, because if someone finds out that you're lying, they'll think you have a spending problem and try to step in and "help."
IllegalExpertGirl
1. Volunteer.
No one is going to think that precious little Susie who volunteers at the senior center is a shoplifter. And darling little Steven who helps out at the preschool could never be the one stealing. Go around your town and help where you can. The elementary school is having a volunteer egg hunt for Easter? Steal a couple bags of candy and help fill the eggs for the kids. Food pantry needs over the counter medicine to distribute? Steal a purse full of aspirin and cough drops and donate them. Make sure everyone knows what a great person you are.
2. Don't be super obvious that you have a lot of new stuff.
A couple close friends or relatives might notice your new vase or a new pair of shoes, but EVERYONE will notice if you're entire house is redecorated in high-end shit every other week. Instead of displaying large amounts of the stolen goods that will look out of place (for example, expensive silk bedding on a thrift store mattress, name brand high-end personal hygiene products in a shitty looking bathroom, real leather wallet in a pr@d@ purse holding your food stamp card, etc), display an item or two once in a while and make a big deal about your "splurge." Talk about how much it cost and how long you had to save up to be able to afford it, etc. Act like you just wanted something nice to gift to yourself. Just don't get carried away or else people will step in to try to "help with your spending problem." Only show off one or two "treats" you got yourself every couple weeks or so. This way it will look like a fun little "splurge" and not a "shopping addiction."
3. Don't steal all name brand expensive stuff.
Almost everyone has some nice things, whether the things be a certain food that they only eat if it's name brand, or if they only wear n!ke'$ and would faint at the thought of wearing w@lm@rt shoes. Whatever it is that you specifically want to be the higher-end brand, just make sure you keep up appearances. If you live in a piece of shit trailer in the scummy part of town, then don't have your whole place decorated in leather and gold plating. It's better to get nice clothes and shoes so when you go out of town no one will suspect you as someone who steals, because nice clothes and shoes means you (probably) have money. Get name brand foods and mix them in with the normal, everyday "poor people" foods. You know the foods I mean; doll@r $t0re brand cereal, w@lm@rt brand milk, whatever. If you want, keep the empty packaging from the cheap shit and just refill it with the name brand stuff. Pour the pep$i into a d0ll@r store brand cola bottle, put the bag of fr00t l00p$ in the w@lm@rt brand "fruity wheels" box, etc. This way if anyone looks in your cabinets for a snack, they will assume you can only afford the shitty poor person food. And you probably only need to buy (or steal) the poor people shit once, just keep reusing the packaging as long as it hasn't been years and the product has a "new look" in the stores. Check once in a while to make sure your packaging is still convincing.
4. Appear as if you are making enough money to afford the things you steal.
Tell people that you took a second job out of town and now you're bringing in insane amounts of money every week. Talk about how great the pay is, but describe it as a really shitty job that is too hard. This way, no one will try to "get a job working with you" but they'll still think that you have a good income. Just be careful, because if someone finds out that you're lying, they'll think you have a spending problem and try to step in and "help."
IllegalExpertGirl
Signs You Are Getting Too Confident With Your Shoplifting Abilities & How To Fix It
There are a lot of signs that you are getting over confident in your ability to get away with shoplifting. Some signs are more easily identifiable, while others go unnoticed until you really reflect on your habits. Here is my list of signs you are on your way to getting caught, and how to fix those problems before you end up with a criminal charge.
SIGN 1: Your main goal is to get out of the store without being stopped.
While avoiding confrontation is a good shoplifting habit to get into, it shouldn't be your priority. It isn't good enough to just be able to run faster than the LP. You should be focused on making sure no one even knows what you're up to, not just getting away with it. You are much less likely to get caught and charged if the LP hasn't been notified than if you just get out without a struggle.
SIGN 2: You are making large hauls.
Yea, everyone knows it; it's nice to have a lot of stuff for free. But is it really worth getting hundreds of dollars in fines and a long time on probation just for a big bag of random shit? There's nothing wrong with accumulating large amounts of stolen goods, but it is better to gradually collect the items rather than go on one big stealing spree. No one will miss a pack of gum or a couple pens or that eyeliner you've been wanting, but it's obvious when you walk out with a bulging bag and there's half the store's inventory missing. Go small and keep the items in different places on your person. That way if you do get caught, you're less likely to have all of the items found, and a smaller haul means smaller fines (or even none at all). Tuck the pens in your boots, a couple magazines in the back of your pants, a prepaid gift card in your wallet, etc. Then if you are stopped and they only check your bag and pockets, then they won't find as much (or any) of the supposedly stolen items. If they only find like $20 or less, they likely won't press charges and just let you go with a warning.
SIGN 3: You are stealing more and more expensive items.
It's nice to appear as if you live a life of luxury and have all of the best high-end items, but the pricier products tend to be better secured and monitored. A lot of name brand products (cheet0$, pr!ngle$, etc) tend to be exactly the same as the store brand; many are even made in the same factory and just packaged differently! This doesn't just go for food; many clothing items, personal hygiene products, etc tend to be the same regardless of price or brand. It's better to go for the cheaper "knock-off" version than the high-end expensive shit. Who cares if the w@lm@rt brand swimsuit goes missing, but if the l@ perl@ swimsuit is gone then all hell will break loose and they will be HUNTING you down.
SIGN 4: You are shoplifting every time you go into a store.
A lot of stores have employees who don't really care what anyone does as long as they get paid. So as long as you don't overdo it, they won't care. But if you are coming in every single day on the same person's shift and stealing a bunch of shit, then they will have the threat of getting fired if they don't find out who is stealing. Have a rotation of stores that you will shoplift from, and don't always go at the same time. For example, if you go to w@lm@rt at 10 am one day and shoplift, then wait a week or two and go back at night and shoplift. While you're waiting for w@lm@rt to come back into the rotation, go to other stores and shoplift. It might mean you have to spend more gas money, but the haul will be well worth it.
SIGN 5: You are doing more spontaneous shoplifting.
Sometimes it's tempting to just pocket something while you're in a store. But without a good plan, you aren't likely to get away with it. Go into the store BEFORE you do any shoplifting. Scope out cameras, look for products that you are interested in stealing, locate the entrances and exits. Make a detailed mental plan on how you are going to get in, get your items, and get out without suspicion. DON'T MAKE A PHYSICAL WRITTEN PLAN OR MAP! It should be pretty obvious why; it's easier to hide a plan in your mind than to try to destroy the evidence on paper or on your phone when the cops have it in their hands. Have a plan, but appear as if it were spontaneous. This way, if you do get caught, it will only be a shoplifting charge instead of a burglary charge.
SIGN 6: You have been testing the limits of your abilities.
I get it, you've been getting away with your smaller hauls so far and you want to make the leap from amateur to professional shoplifter. That's great and all, but without the knowledge and experience that comes with time, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Becoming a professional shoplifter will often happen without you realizing it. So if you have to make the conscious decision to "become a professional," then you aren't ready. Just let the process go naturally; over time you will develop better shoplifting skills and slowly go from amateur to intermediate to professional.
SIGN 7: You have had a near miss.
This is one of the biggest signs that you are getting cocky. A near miss means that you need to take a step back and acknowledge what you need to do better. Almost got caught stealing a big bag of candy? Start making smaller, more frequent thefts of the small bag of candy instead of the jumbo bag. Almost got caught because an item fell out of where you had it concealed and someone saw? Make sure future items are firmly placed where there is no chance of anyone knowing you have merchandise on your person. Loosely place some duck tape under your shirt, and use it to secure items to your body. Duck tape fixes everything.
SIGN 8: You're getting bored and feel like you never get enough items in a haul.
It's better to feel like you didn't get as much as you wanted but get away with it than to try to grab everything you could ever want and get caught. If you can't be happy with the items you can get in a single haul, then make your outings more frequent. You want (for whatever reason) 20 bags of candy? Get a couple bags every time you go into the store. Eventually you will have as many as you originally wanted, but you won't have to worry about hiding a million things in your bag all at once. Boredom is safety. If you are bored, it means you are getting away with shoplifting. It might be exciting to sprint out the door with a shit ton of products and speed off before the LP can get your licence plate numbers, but it means you almost got caught. Think about how excited you were when you first got away with shoplifting. Over time that feeling should wear off. If you are still getting really excited about shoplifting, then you are probably gonna get caught soon.
That's all I can think of for now.
IllegalExpertGirl
SIGN 1: Your main goal is to get out of the store without being stopped.
While avoiding confrontation is a good shoplifting habit to get into, it shouldn't be your priority. It isn't good enough to just be able to run faster than the LP. You should be focused on making sure no one even knows what you're up to, not just getting away with it. You are much less likely to get caught and charged if the LP hasn't been notified than if you just get out without a struggle.
SIGN 2: You are making large hauls.
Yea, everyone knows it; it's nice to have a lot of stuff for free. But is it really worth getting hundreds of dollars in fines and a long time on probation just for a big bag of random shit? There's nothing wrong with accumulating large amounts of stolen goods, but it is better to gradually collect the items rather than go on one big stealing spree. No one will miss a pack of gum or a couple pens or that eyeliner you've been wanting, but it's obvious when you walk out with a bulging bag and there's half the store's inventory missing. Go small and keep the items in different places on your person. That way if you do get caught, you're less likely to have all of the items found, and a smaller haul means smaller fines (or even none at all). Tuck the pens in your boots, a couple magazines in the back of your pants, a prepaid gift card in your wallet, etc. Then if you are stopped and they only check your bag and pockets, then they won't find as much (or any) of the supposedly stolen items. If they only find like $20 or less, they likely won't press charges and just let you go with a warning.
SIGN 3: You are stealing more and more expensive items.
It's nice to appear as if you live a life of luxury and have all of the best high-end items, but the pricier products tend to be better secured and monitored. A lot of name brand products (cheet0$, pr!ngle$, etc) tend to be exactly the same as the store brand; many are even made in the same factory and just packaged differently! This doesn't just go for food; many clothing items, personal hygiene products, etc tend to be the same regardless of price or brand. It's better to go for the cheaper "knock-off" version than the high-end expensive shit. Who cares if the w@lm@rt brand swimsuit goes missing, but if the l@ perl@ swimsuit is gone then all hell will break loose and they will be HUNTING you down.
SIGN 4: You are shoplifting every time you go into a store.
A lot of stores have employees who don't really care what anyone does as long as they get paid. So as long as you don't overdo it, they won't care. But if you are coming in every single day on the same person's shift and stealing a bunch of shit, then they will have the threat of getting fired if they don't find out who is stealing. Have a rotation of stores that you will shoplift from, and don't always go at the same time. For example, if you go to w@lm@rt at 10 am one day and shoplift, then wait a week or two and go back at night and shoplift. While you're waiting for w@lm@rt to come back into the rotation, go to other stores and shoplift. It might mean you have to spend more gas money, but the haul will be well worth it.
SIGN 5: You are doing more spontaneous shoplifting.
Sometimes it's tempting to just pocket something while you're in a store. But without a good plan, you aren't likely to get away with it. Go into the store BEFORE you do any shoplifting. Scope out cameras, look for products that you are interested in stealing, locate the entrances and exits. Make a detailed mental plan on how you are going to get in, get your items, and get out without suspicion. DON'T MAKE A PHYSICAL WRITTEN PLAN OR MAP! It should be pretty obvious why; it's easier to hide a plan in your mind than to try to destroy the evidence on paper or on your phone when the cops have it in their hands. Have a plan, but appear as if it were spontaneous. This way, if you do get caught, it will only be a shoplifting charge instead of a burglary charge.
SIGN 6: You have been testing the limits of your abilities.
I get it, you've been getting away with your smaller hauls so far and you want to make the leap from amateur to professional shoplifter. That's great and all, but without the knowledge and experience that comes with time, you are setting yourself up for disaster. Becoming a professional shoplifter will often happen without you realizing it. So if you have to make the conscious decision to "become a professional," then you aren't ready. Just let the process go naturally; over time you will develop better shoplifting skills and slowly go from amateur to intermediate to professional.
SIGN 7: You have had a near miss.
This is one of the biggest signs that you are getting cocky. A near miss means that you need to take a step back and acknowledge what you need to do better. Almost got caught stealing a big bag of candy? Start making smaller, more frequent thefts of the small bag of candy instead of the jumbo bag. Almost got caught because an item fell out of where you had it concealed and someone saw? Make sure future items are firmly placed where there is no chance of anyone knowing you have merchandise on your person. Loosely place some duck tape under your shirt, and use it to secure items to your body. Duck tape fixes everything.
SIGN 8: You're getting bored and feel like you never get enough items in a haul.
It's better to feel like you didn't get as much as you wanted but get away with it than to try to grab everything you could ever want and get caught. If you can't be happy with the items you can get in a single haul, then make your outings more frequent. You want (for whatever reason) 20 bags of candy? Get a couple bags every time you go into the store. Eventually you will have as many as you originally wanted, but you won't have to worry about hiding a million things in your bag all at once. Boredom is safety. If you are bored, it means you are getting away with shoplifting. It might be exciting to sprint out the door with a shit ton of products and speed off before the LP can get your licence plate numbers, but it means you almost got caught. Think about how excited you were when you first got away with shoplifting. Over time that feeling should wear off. If you are still getting really excited about shoplifting, then you are probably gonna get caught soon.
That's all I can think of for now.
IllegalExpertGirl
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Don't Be Stupid With Your Money!
Keep money in your bank account! What's the point of shoplifting if you aren't going to use it to get ahead? Once you start shoplifting for things you need, you can save that money for things you can't steal. Get yourself a nice house, nice car, pamper yourself, go to the spa, get a massage, buy drugs if that's what you're into, go get drunk if you want. Do you think that sitting around hungry in a nasty ass trailer driving a piece of shit car with an almost empty gas tank while smelling like a dumpster will make you feel good? No, take care of yourself. Keep yourself looking good. Let people know that you are doing well. Save your money, get rich, get ahead. Don't be a dumbass. If you shoplift, you are giving yourself the opportunity of a lifetime to save money and get ahead. Work under the table alongside your "normal" job, you'll have untaxed money every week and still get a good tax return every year. Work at a job that you have to buy supplies for (shoes, tools, etc) and then go steal the most expensive ones from the store. Put it on your tax return and get more money back. Work requires new boots or a set of power tools? Steal them. Steal good foods for your lunches. Can't work if you're hungry right? Every weekend, go out to the bar or something. It's hard to get away with stealing cigarettes and things like that kept behind the counter. Save your money from shoplifting other things and use it to buy what you can't five finger discount. You can't steal a house, you can't (theoretically) steal a car or gas, you can't (again theoretically) rob a bank or person to get fast money. Save what money you have and keep it tucked away.
Why It's Easier To Shoplift and Scam as a Man
Like the instances described in my last post, men also have advantages when it comes to shoplifting.
1. Easy drastic changes in appearance. Men can grow beards, shave beards, grow their hair, shave their hair off; changes in hair can drastically change how someone looks.
2. No purse worries. If a man carrying nothing and a woman carrying a large bulky purse walk out of the store at the same time and the alarm goes off, the woman will automatically be suspected as the thief. Men can hide items on their body, like in baggy jeans, etc, and it looks normal. Women are often expected to wear tight fitting clothes, so if a woman wears big baggy sweatpants, she is already being watched, whether it is being watched as a potential shoplifter or just because people are judging her outfit.
3. Many people will not confront a man because they are scared of being attacked. People are more likely to confront a 90 pound woman than a 190 pound man, because they have a better chance of overpowering the woman than they would the man.
Many people (mostly older men) feel that men are more trustworthy than women. This can be used to your advantage in a lot of situations, like scamming. If you have a box of nice professional business cards with pictures of you in a good looking suits and ties, you will be able to get a lot of people to trust you. You can do half-assed work for people, and they will likely still pay you and not say anything just because you're male, or because of the third reason listed above.
1. Easy drastic changes in appearance. Men can grow beards, shave beards, grow their hair, shave their hair off; changes in hair can drastically change how someone looks.
2. No purse worries. If a man carrying nothing and a woman carrying a large bulky purse walk out of the store at the same time and the alarm goes off, the woman will automatically be suspected as the thief. Men can hide items on their body, like in baggy jeans, etc, and it looks normal. Women are often expected to wear tight fitting clothes, so if a woman wears big baggy sweatpants, she is already being watched, whether it is being watched as a potential shoplifter or just because people are judging her outfit.
3. Many people will not confront a man because they are scared of being attacked. People are more likely to confront a 90 pound woman than a 190 pound man, because they have a better chance of overpowering the woman than they would the man.
Many people (mostly older men) feel that men are more trustworthy than women. This can be used to your advantage in a lot of situations, like scamming. If you have a box of nice professional business cards with pictures of you in a good looking suits and ties, you will be able to get a lot of people to trust you. You can do half-assed work for people, and they will likely still pay you and not say anything just because you're male, or because of the third reason listed above.
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