1. Act as if you have the full intention of buying. Check out the sales racks as if that's the best deal you can get. Look at prices and sizes. Compare brands. Check nutrition facts. Just act like you do when you are actually buying things.
2. No crazy makeup. There's nothing wrong with enjoying having a full face done, but when you are shoplifting, you want to look as boring and average as possible. This means no neon eye shadow or black lipstick, unless you are going into a makeup store, in which case makeup would look less suspicious than none. It is better to keep your makeup looking natural, while still changing your face enough to avoid being recognized.
3. Keep your hair out of your face. If you have all of your hair over your face, then you might as well be wearing a ski mask and have a money bag over your shoulder. Keep your hair away from your face, either pulled back in a bun/ponytail or just with a headband or clip. Remember, the goal is not to leave the store without being apprehended, the goal is to leave without anyone knowing that something has been taken. If you have done the job properly, then there is no risk in having your face showing.
4. No flashy statement accessories or clothes. Don't wear neon colors or big bold patterns. Don't wear unique things like frog earrings or big chunky bracelets. Wear something like simple pants or jeans, a grey shirt, and whatever shoes are appropriate for the weather. You want to look put together without standing out.
5. Wear clothes that are in season and tight! No one suspects that someone in form-fitting clothes carrying a small bag is stealing anything. After all, where could they conceal something? If it's the middle of a heat wave and you walk in wearing a sweatshirt, you are already being watched.
6. Get a bag that looks small from the outside but is large on the inside. I have a bag that looks like a child's size bag from the outside, but can hold all of my everyday crap and whatever I decide to lift as well. Huge bags draw attention.
7. Have an "attention" hand and a "concealment" hand. Paint your nails with sparkly nail polish on one hand, and keep the other either bare or neutral colored. Wear flashy rings on the one hand, but none on the other. Shiny things draw attention, so people's eyes will be drawn to the shiny hand while the other hand can quietly conceal items without being noticed.
8. Don't pay too much attention to other people or cameras. If you jump at every movement or hide from every single camera you see, then you will be caught. Calm yourself down, take a break and listen to some music or sit in the bathroom for a few minutes. Once you are calm, go back out and do what you have to do.
9. If you act awkward when you are nervous, then you shouldn't be shoplifting. I'm sorry to say it, but some people just can't do it no matter what they do because they are too paranoid of getting caught. If you have to, take a hot shower before you go out, drink some warm tea, listen to soothing music on the way to the store, do whatever it takes to calm down. If you start to get nervous and overwhelmed, take a break and recover yourself. Don't walk too quickly, don't fidget, don't overdo it with your hands, don't jump at sounds or movement. Calm down and mellow yourself out.
10. Don't spend too much time handling the item you plan to steal. If you spend half an hour messing with one thing of lipstick, then this gives the LP more time to spot you with the merchandise and become suspicious of what you plan on doing with it. Take the item, walk a little, check around, and conceal.
11. Don't carry items that will get you caught. No one is going to question why you have a pair of nail clippers or a small pair of cosmetic scissors in your purse, but if you have pliers, craft knives, or the bag is a "booster bag", AKA a bag lined with tinfoil to keep the alarms from detecting any security devices, then you are screwed if you get caught. You can explain a that you always have nail clippers/scissors in your purse, but no one is going to believe that you carry the entire hardware store in your bag all the time.
12. Listen while you are lifting. Do you notice the static of a walkie-talkie in the next aisle everywhere you go? If so, you are probably being followed while you shoplift. If someone is walking around near you seemingly everywhere you go, listen closely. Try to get as close to them as you can, and listen very closely. They will probably have their talkie turned down very low, but not off. Listen to hear if there are very faint static sounds coming from them. If so, drop everything and get the fuck out.
IllegalExpertGirl
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